I am speechless

@TheComedyCentre

Well, almost made it 🫠

@TheComedyCentre

I asked my Tesla to take me to where I have never been before.

It took me to a fitness club!

@TheComedyCentre

If 9 out of 10 dentist recommend a toothpaste, what happened to the last guy?

What does he know that we don't?

@TheComedyCentre

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose hasn't moved an inch!

@TheComedyCentre

I give up on this girls 🤣

@TheComedyCentre

I did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 97 and live comfortably for eleven minutes.

@TheComedyCentre

Did you know bananas are berries, but strawberries aren’t? Botanically, bananas meet all the criteria of a berry.

#DidYouKnow @TheComedyContre

Time is money but money cannot buy time!

#WordForTheDay

@TheComedyCentre

For a second there I thought... 🧐

@TheComedyCentre

He understands football more than some humans and he is a very loyal fan 😂

@TheComedyCentre

You get it?
If you don't get it, forget about it!

@TheComedyCentre

Two witnesses? I can only hear one witness that's out of sync!

@TheComedyCentre

Why does Zoom have offices? 🧐

@TheComedyCentre

Don't take screenshots, take profits!

#WordForTheDay @TheComedyCentre

My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila.

"You're coming home now!" she screamed. "No, I'm not," I laughed.

She said, "I'm talking to the kids."

@TheComedyCentre