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Gangsta Granny by David Walliams
Chapter 34 - Zimmer Frame - Page 157
Snow was falling. It crunched under the wheels of his bike. Ben watched it come down, landing softly on the ground, barely paying attention to his route. He knew the journey off by heart now. He had cycled to the old lady’s so many times over the last few months he knew every bump and crack in the road.
He stopped his bike outside Granny’s little bungalow. There was a scattering of snow on the roof. Post was piled up outside, the lights were all off and there was a ‘For Sale’ sign with icicles hanging off it standing outside.
Even so, Ben was half expecting to see Granny at the window.
Looking at him with that hopeful little smile of hers.
But of course she wasn’t there. She was gone for ever.
But she wasn’t gone from his heart.
Ben wiped away a tear, took a deep breath, and cycled off home.
He sure had an amazing story to tell his grandchildren one day.
💌 Will be continued.
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Gangsta Granny by David Walliams
Chapter 34 - Zimmer Frame - Page 157
Snow was falling. It crunched under the wheels of his bike. Ben watched it come down, landing softly on the ground, barely paying attention to his route. He knew the journey off by heart now. He had cycled to the old lady’s so many times over the last few months he knew every bump and crack in the road.
He stopped his bike outside Granny’s little bungalow. There was a scattering of snow on the roof. Post was piled up outside, the lights were all off and there was a ‘For Sale’ sign with icicles hanging off it standing outside.
Even so, Ben was half expecting to see Granny at the window.
Looking at him with that hopeful little smile of hers.
But of course she wasn’t there. She was gone for ever.
But she wasn’t gone from his heart.
Ben wiped away a tear, took a deep breath, and cycled off home.
He sure had an amazing story to tell his grandchildren one day.
💌 Will be continued.
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Gangsta Granny by David Walliams - Postscript - Page 158
“Christmas is a special time of year,” said the Queen. She was her usual serious self, seated majestically on an antique chair in Buckingham Palace. Once again delivering her annual message to the nation.
Mum, Dad and Ben had just finished their Christmas lunch, and were slumped together on the sofa with mugs of tea watching the Queen on TV, as they did every year.
“A time for families to get together and celebrate,” Her Majesty went on.
“However, let’s not forget the elderly. A few weeks ago, I met a lady around my age and her grandson, at the Tower of London.”
Ben squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.
He glanced at his parents, but they were watching the TV, oblivious.
💌 Will be continued.
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Gangsta Granny by David Walliams - Postscript - Page 158
“Christmas is a special time of year,” said the Queen. She was her usual serious self, seated majestically on an antique chair in Buckingham Palace. Once again delivering her annual message to the nation.
Mum, Dad and Ben had just finished their Christmas lunch, and were slumped together on the sofa with mugs of tea watching the Queen on TV, as they did every year.
“A time for families to get together and celebrate,” Her Majesty went on.
“However, let’s not forget the elderly. A few weeks ago, I met a lady around my age and her grandson, at the Tower of London.”
Ben squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.
He glanced at his parents, but they were watching the TV, oblivious.
💌 Will be continued.
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Gangsta Granny by David Walliams - Postscript - Page 159
“It made me think how the young need to show a little more kindness to the elderly. If you are a young person watching this, perhaps give up your seat for an elderly person on the bus. Or help them carry their shopping. Share a game of Scrabble with us. Why not bring us a nice bag of Murray Mints, once in a while? We old folk do love a nice chomp on a mint. And most of all, young people of this country, I want you to remember this, we old people are certainly not boring. You never know, one day we might even shock you.”
Then, with a mischievous grin, the Queen lifted up her skirt to the entire country and flashed her Union Jack knickers.
Mum and Dad spat out their tea all over the carpet in astonishment.
But Ben just smiled.
The Queen’s a proper gangsta, he thought. Just like my granny.
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Gangsta Granny by David Walliams - Postscript - Page 159
“It made me think how the young need to show a little more kindness to the elderly. If you are a young person watching this, perhaps give up your seat for an elderly person on the bus. Or help them carry their shopping. Share a game of Scrabble with us. Why not bring us a nice bag of Murray Mints, once in a while? We old folk do love a nice chomp on a mint. And most of all, young people of this country, I want you to remember this, we old people are certainly not boring. You never know, one day we might even shock you.”
Then, with a mischievous grin, the Queen lifted up her skirt to the entire country and flashed her Union Jack knickers.
Mum and Dad spat out their tea all over the carpet in astonishment.
But Ben just smiled.
The Queen’s a proper gangsta, he thought. Just like my granny.
💌 Will be continued.
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Matilda by Roald Dahl - Chapter One - The Reader of Books - Page 1
It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
Some parents go further. They become so blinded by adoration they manage to convince themselves their child has qualities of genius.
Well, there is nothing very wrong with all this. It’s the way of the world. It is only when the parents begin telling us about the brilliance of their own revolting offspring, that we start shouting, ‘Bring us a basin! We’re going to be sick!’
School teachers suffer a good deal from having to listen to this sort of twaddle from proud parents, but they usually get their own back when the time comes to write the end-of-term reports. If I were a teacher I would cook up some real scorchers for the children of doting parents. ‘Your son Maximilian,’ I would write, ‘is a total wash-out. I hope you have a family business you can push him into when he leaves school because he sure as heck won’t get a job anywhere else.’ Or if I were feeling lyrical that day, I might write, ‘It is a curious truth that grasshoppers have their hearing-organs in the sides of the abdomen. Your daughter Vanessa, judging by what she’s learnt this term, has no hearing-organs at all.’
💌 Will be continued.
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Matilda by Roald Dahl - Chapter One - The Reader of Books - Page 1
It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
Some parents go further. They become so blinded by adoration they manage to convince themselves their child has qualities of genius.
Well, there is nothing very wrong with all this. It’s the way of the world. It is only when the parents begin telling us about the brilliance of their own revolting offspring, that we start shouting, ‘Bring us a basin! We’re going to be sick!’
School teachers suffer a good deal from having to listen to this sort of twaddle from proud parents, but they usually get their own back when the time comes to write the end-of-term reports. If I were a teacher I would cook up some real scorchers for the children of doting parents. ‘Your son Maximilian,’ I would write, ‘is a total wash-out. I hope you have a family business you can push him into when he leaves school because he sure as heck won’t get a job anywhere else.’ Or if I were feeling lyrical that day, I might write, ‘It is a curious truth that grasshoppers have their hearing-organs in the sides of the abdomen. Your daughter Vanessa, judging by what she’s learnt this term, has no hearing-organs at all.’
💌 Will be continued.
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Stores use several techniques to get your business.
Did vou ever go to a food store and see someone giving away free samples? Many supermarkets
encourage you to buy a product by giving you a free sample. They think that if you try this product, maybe you will buy it. Often they encourage you even more by giving you a coupon for the product.
Sometimes a store will advertise "two for the price of one." This is a marketing technique to get your interest. After you come into the store for the sale item, the manager wants you to do the rest of your shopping there too.
Movie theaters will lower their price in the early hours. This is because most people don't think of going to a movie early in the day. Both you and the movie theater benefit when you take advantage of the reduced price. You help fill the theater and get a cheap ticket in return.
Another way to get customer attention is with good service. Sometimes as you're leaving a store, a salesperson may ask you, "Do you want me to take this out to your car for you!" There is no extra charge for such service.
With so much competition between businesses, owners and managers
have to use all kinds of techniques to get our attention and encourage us to shop at their store and return often.
#readnrecord
Stores use several techniques to get your business.
Did vou ever go to a food store and see someone giving away free samples? Many supermarkets
encourage you to buy a product by giving you a free sample. They think that if you try this product, maybe you will buy it. Often they encourage you even more by giving you a coupon for the product.
Sometimes a store will advertise "two for the price of one." This is a marketing technique to get your interest. After you come into the store for the sale item, the manager wants you to do the rest of your shopping there too.
Movie theaters will lower their price in the early hours. This is because most people don't think of going to a movie early in the day. Both you and the movie theater benefit when you take advantage of the reduced price. You help fill the theater and get a cheap ticket in return.
Another way to get customer attention is with good service. Sometimes as you're leaving a store, a salesperson may ask you, "Do you want me to take this out to your car for you!" There is no extra charge for such service.
With so much competition between businesses, owners and managers
have to use all kinds of techniques to get our attention and encourage us to shop at their store and return often.
#readnrecord
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Night Call
A physician can expect to be called at any hour of the day or night, wherever he is, whatever he is doing. It's just part of the job.
Dr. Sheeler was no exception. He, however, had received no calls from the Nelson family in quite some time and was a bit surprised when one night, shortly after he had drifted off to sleep, the phone rang and he heard, "Doctor, this is Jim Nelson. Come right away. My wife is in agony. At first it was just a twinge, but now the pain is excruciating. She just sits here groaning and clutching her side. I'm sure it's appendicitis."
Mulling over what he remembered about the Nelsons, Dr. Sheeler tried to soothe the near-hysterical man at the other end of the line. "Now, now, Mr. Nelson, it can't be all that bad, probably just indigestion. Give her some bicarbonate of soda, and I'll come around the first thing in the morning"
"But, Doctor, I'm positive it's her appendix. You've got to come now. My wife's life may be in jeopardy!"
"That's preposterous" the doctor chided, now somewhat irked at the other man's insistence. "I took your wife's appendix out two years ago. You know as well as I do that she hasn't got another one."
"I know that, Dr. Sheeler," said the distressed husband. "But last year I got another wife."
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Night Call
A physician can expect to be called at any hour of the day or night, wherever he is, whatever he is doing. It's just part of the job.
Dr. Sheeler was no exception. He, however, had received no calls from the Nelson family in quite some time and was a bit surprised when one night, shortly after he had drifted off to sleep, the phone rang and he heard, "Doctor, this is Jim Nelson. Come right away. My wife is in agony. At first it was just a twinge, but now the pain is excruciating. She just sits here groaning and clutching her side. I'm sure it's appendicitis."
Mulling over what he remembered about the Nelsons, Dr. Sheeler tried to soothe the near-hysterical man at the other end of the line. "Now, now, Mr. Nelson, it can't be all that bad, probably just indigestion. Give her some bicarbonate of soda, and I'll come around the first thing in the morning"
"But, Doctor, I'm positive it's her appendix. You've got to come now. My wife's life may be in jeopardy!"
"That's preposterous" the doctor chided, now somewhat irked at the other man's insistence. "I took your wife's appendix out two years ago. You know as well as I do that she hasn't got another one."
"I know that, Dr. Sheeler," said the distressed husband. "But last year I got another wife."
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In northern California, a woman faced a dangerous 15-hour situation after her pickup truck overturned in a river during heavy rain.
A helicopter team from the California Highway Patrol Air Operations started a daring rescue. They lifted the woman from the rushing waters using a harness. The woman wanted to cross Del Valle Creek, about 35 miles east of San Francisco, but she got stuck. She spent the night on top of her car, which probably saved her life. She survived with minor injuries.
A similar incident took place in 2012 on the same creek.
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In northern California, a woman faced a dangerous 15-hour situation after her pickup truck overturned in a river during heavy rain.
A helicopter team from the California Highway Patrol Air Operations started a daring rescue. They lifted the woman from the rushing waters using a harness. The woman wanted to cross Del Valle Creek, about 35 miles east of San Francisco, but she got stuck. She spent the night on top of her car, which probably saved her life. She survived with minor injuries.
A similar incident took place in 2012 on the same creek.
#readnrecord
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A Can of Peaches
A woman was arrested for stealing. When she went before the judge, he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied, “A can of peaches.”
The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 5. The judge then said, “I will give you 5 days in jail.”
When her husband heard this, he stood up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, “What is it?”
The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”
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A Can of Peaches
A woman was arrested for stealing. When she went before the judge, he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied, “A can of peaches.”
The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 5. The judge then said, “I will give you 5 days in jail.”
When her husband heard this, he stood up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, “What is it?”
The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”
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Matilda by Roald Dahl - Chapter One - The Reader of Books - Page 2
I might even delve deeper into natural history and say, ‘The periodical cicada spends six years as a grub underground, and no more than six days as a free creature of sunlight and air. Your son Wilfred has spent six years as a grub in this school and we are still waiting for him to emerge from the chrysalis.’ A particularly poisonous little girl might sting me into saying, ‘Fiona has the same glacial beauty as an iceberg, but unlike the iceberg she has absolutely nothing below the surface,’ I think I might enjoy writing end-of-term reports for the stinkers in my class. But enough of that. We have to get on.
Occasionally one comes across parents who take the opposite line, who show no interest at all in their children, and these of course are far worse than the doting ones. Mr and Mrs Wormwood were two such parents. They had a son called Michael and a daughter called Matilda, and the parents looked upon Matilda in particular as nothing more than a scab. A scab is something you have to put up with until the time comes when you can pick it off and flick it away Mr and Mrs Wormwood looked forward enormously to the time when they could pick their little daughter off and flick her away, preferably into the next county or even further than that.
💌 Will be continued.
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Matilda by Roald Dahl - Chapter One - The Reader of Books - Page 2
I might even delve deeper into natural history and say, ‘The periodical cicada spends six years as a grub underground, and no more than six days as a free creature of sunlight and air. Your son Wilfred has spent six years as a grub in this school and we are still waiting for him to emerge from the chrysalis.’ A particularly poisonous little girl might sting me into saying, ‘Fiona has the same glacial beauty as an iceberg, but unlike the iceberg she has absolutely nothing below the surface,’ I think I might enjoy writing end-of-term reports for the stinkers in my class. But enough of that. We have to get on.
Occasionally one comes across parents who take the opposite line, who show no interest at all in their children, and these of course are far worse than the doting ones. Mr and Mrs Wormwood were two such parents. They had a son called Michael and a daughter called Matilda, and the parents looked upon Matilda in particular as nothing more than a scab. A scab is something you have to put up with until the time comes when you can pick it off and flick it away Mr and Mrs Wormwood looked forward enormously to the time when they could pick their little daughter off and flick her away, preferably into the next county or even further than that.
💌 Will be continued.
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Matilda by Roald Dahl - Chapter One - The Reader of Books - Page 3
It is bad enough when parents treat ordinary children as though they were scabs and bunions, but it becomes somehow a lot worse when the child in question is extra- ordinary, and by that I mean sensitive and brilliant. Matilda was both of these things, but above all she was brilliant. Her mind was so nimble and she was so quick to learn that her ability should have been obvious even to the most half-witted of parents. But Mr and Mrs Wormwood were both so gormless and so wrapped up in their own silly little lives that they failed to notice anything unusual about their daughter. To tell the truth, I doubt they would have noticed had she crawled into the house with a broken leg.
Matilda’s brother Michael was a perfectly normal boy, but the sister, as I said, was something to make your eyes pop. By the age of one and a half her speech was perfect and she knew as many words as most grown-ups. The parents, instead of applauding her, called her a noisy chatterbox and told her sharply that small girls should be seen and not heard.
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Matilda by Roald Dahl - Chapter One - The Reader of Books - Page 3
It is bad enough when parents treat ordinary children as though they were scabs and bunions, but it becomes somehow a lot worse when the child in question is extra- ordinary, and by that I mean sensitive and brilliant. Matilda was both of these things, but above all she was brilliant. Her mind was so nimble and she was so quick to learn that her ability should have been obvious even to the most half-witted of parents. But Mr and Mrs Wormwood were both so gormless and so wrapped up in their own silly little lives that they failed to notice anything unusual about their daughter. To tell the truth, I doubt they would have noticed had she crawled into the house with a broken leg.
Matilda’s brother Michael was a perfectly normal boy, but the sister, as I said, was something to make your eyes pop. By the age of one and a half her speech was perfect and she knew as many words as most grown-ups. The parents, instead of applauding her, called her a noisy chatterbox and told her sharply that small girls should be seen and not heard.
💌 Will be continued.
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1
Brushing Up
A: Let's go to the movies. There's a good picture at the Roxy.
B: I'd like to, but I can't. I have to study. I wasted the whole afternoon. I forgot I had to brush up on my French. Then, all of a sudden, I remembered.
A: Oh, come on! We'll be home early.
B: No, I'd better not. I have an exam tomorrow. I was about to study when you came in. You know how it is. If you don't study, you don't pass. That goes without saying.
A: Exam? Tomorrow? Oh-oh!
B: What's the matter?
A: I just remembered. I have an exam, too!
B: We can go to the movies on Saturday.
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#dialogue
1
Brushing Up
A: Let's go to the movies. There's a good picture at the Roxy.
B: I'd like to, but I can't. I have to study. I wasted the whole afternoon. I forgot I had to brush up on my French. Then, all of a sudden, I remembered.
A: Oh, come on! We'll be home early.
B: No, I'd better not. I have an exam tomorrow. I was about to study when you came in. You know how it is. If you don't study, you don't pass. That goes without saying.
A: Exam? Tomorrow? Oh-oh!
B: What's the matter?
A: I just remembered. I have an exam, too!
B: We can go to the movies on Saturday.
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#dialogue
There ________ in the street.
Anonymous Quiz
100%
was nobody else
0%
was not nobody else
0%
was nobody another
He ____ his eyes and pressed his fingers against them.
Anonymous Quiz
31%
shutted
38%
shuts
31%
shut
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2
Doing Without
A: Every now and then I get hungry for French food. There's a good French restaurant near here.
Let's go sometime. Why not tonight?
B: No, not tonight. You have to make reservations in advance. It's a very popular place. Besides, it's expensive. And I don't have any money.
A: I'm broke, too. Let's save our money and go next week.
B: Okay. But how?
A: We could do without lunch this week.
B: Do you mean every day? I don't feel up to that.
A: Well, then every other day.
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#dialogue
2
Doing Without
A: Every now and then I get hungry for French food. There's a good French restaurant near here.
Let's go sometime. Why not tonight?
B: No, not tonight. You have to make reservations in advance. It's a very popular place. Besides, it's expensive. And I don't have any money.
A: I'm broke, too. Let's save our money and go next week.
B: Okay. But how?
A: We could do without lunch this week.
B: Do you mean every day? I don't feel up to that.
A: Well, then every other day.
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#dialogue
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3
Not to Blame
A: Have you heard that Jane cancelled her party next Friday?
B: Yes, but I didn't hear why. What happened?
A: She's going to New York. She has to see about something for her boss.
B: Why did Jane plan the party? She knew all along about New York, didn't she?
A: Yes, but she really isn't to blame. She thought the trip would be next week. Yesterday she was told to go this week.
B: Too bad about the party, to say the least. The trip will do Jane good, though.
A: And she can have the party when she returns.
B: Frankly, I'm glad about the party. I'm up to my ears in work right now.
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#dialogue
3
Not to Blame
A: Have you heard that Jane cancelled her party next Friday?
B: Yes, but I didn't hear why. What happened?
A: She's going to New York. She has to see about something for her boss.
B: Why did Jane plan the party? She knew all along about New York, didn't she?
A: Yes, but she really isn't to blame. She thought the trip would be next week. Yesterday she was told to go this week.
B: Too bad about the party, to say the least. The trip will do Jane good, though.
A: And she can have the party when she returns.
B: Frankly, I'm glad about the party. I'm up to my ears in work right now.
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#dialogue
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4
A Close Call
A: Will you keep an eye on my books? I'll be back in five minutes.
B: Where are you going? Are you up to something? You look as though you are.
A: Not really. But here comes Dorothy. I'd just as soon she didn't see me.
B: Why not?
A: She had her heart set on seeing a movie. I promised to take her. Then I discovered I didn't have any money. I phoned her and said I was sick.
B: Relax. She's going out the other door. You're safe for the time being.
A: That was a close call.
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#dialogue
4
A Close Call
A: Will you keep an eye on my books? I'll be back in five minutes.
B: Where are you going? Are you up to something? You look as though you are.
A: Not really. But here comes Dorothy. I'd just as soon she didn't see me.
B: Why not?
A: She had her heart set on seeing a movie. I promised to take her. Then I discovered I didn't have any money. I phoned her and said I was sick.
B: Relax. She's going out the other door. You're safe for the time being.
A: That was a close call.
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5
Make Things Do
A: Come in, please. Make yourself at home.
B: Thanks. You have a nice place here.
A: I'm glad you like it. The furniture's in pretty bad condition, though. We should get rid of it.
B: Don't do that. It's very comfortable. You have children, don't you?
A: Yes, we do. Three boys and a girl. Not to mention two cats. So we have to make this furniture do. As long as the children are small, anyway.
B: I know what you mean. Our children are hard on furniture, too.
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#dialogue
5
Make Things Do
A: Come in, please. Make yourself at home.
B: Thanks. You have a nice place here.
A: I'm glad you like it. The furniture's in pretty bad condition, though. We should get rid of it.
B: Don't do that. It's very comfortable. You have children, don't you?
A: Yes, we do. Three boys and a girl. Not to mention two cats. So we have to make this furniture do. As long as the children are small, anyway.
B: I know what you mean. Our children are hard on furniture, too.
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#dialogue
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6
Taking Advantage of the Weekend
A: Friday is a holiday. Let's take advantage of the long weekend. Do you want to go to New York? We could leave Thursday night.
B: Okay. But I'd rather go on Friday. I have to get my car fixed.
A: All right. We can take turns driving.
B: Fine. We won't get so tired that way.
A: I'm looking forward to seeing New York. I've never been there.
B: I haven't either. Let's make the most of our weekend.
A: We can go sightseeing during the day. In the evening we can go to a play. Do you think we can get tickets?
B: I don't think we stand a chance. It's hard to get tickets on weekends. Anyway, we can try.
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#dialogue
6
Taking Advantage of the Weekend
A: Friday is a holiday. Let's take advantage of the long weekend. Do you want to go to New York? We could leave Thursday night.
B: Okay. But I'd rather go on Friday. I have to get my car fixed.
A: All right. We can take turns driving.
B: Fine. We won't get so tired that way.
A: I'm looking forward to seeing New York. I've never been there.
B: I haven't either. Let's make the most of our weekend.
A: We can go sightseeing during the day. In the evening we can go to a play. Do you think we can get tickets?
B: I don't think we stand a chance. It's hard to get tickets on weekends. Anyway, we can try.
#readandrecord
#dialogue
🌺 📖🎙 Read and Record 🎙📖🌺
7
Does She Take After You?
A: I'm very proud of my daughter. She has quite a good memory. She does her best to remember all she reads. And she's only nine years old.
B: That's very good. Whom does she take after?You or your wife?
A: My wife. As a child Julia learned lots of poems by heart. She still knows quite a few of them.
B: I never could memorize poetry. On the other hand, I remember numbers. I never forget an address or a date.
A: Not even your wife's birthday?
B: Never! Alice would take a dim view of that!
#readandrecord
#dialogue
7
Does She Take After You?
A: I'm very proud of my daughter. She has quite a good memory. She does her best to remember all she reads. And she's only nine years old.
B: That's very good. Whom does she take after?You or your wife?
A: My wife. As a child Julia learned lots of poems by heart. She still knows quite a few of them.
B: I never could memorize poetry. On the other hand, I remember numbers. I never forget an address or a date.
A: Not even your wife's birthday?
B: Never! Alice would take a dim view of that!
#readandrecord
#dialogue
🌺 📖🎙 Read and Record 🎙📖🌺
8
I've Talked till I'm Blue in the Face
A: I'm furious with Norma! She's always late.
B: Always? Why don't you talk it over with her? Encourage her to be on time.
A: Look! I've talked till I'm blue in the face. It's out of the question.
B: There must be something you can do.
A: I doubt it. Last night we went to a concert. Do you know what time we got there? Just in time to go out for the intermission!
B: I guess you're just wasting your breath then. Time means nothing to Norma.
#readandrecord
#dialogue
8
I've Talked till I'm Blue in the Face
A: I'm furious with Norma! She's always late.
B: Always? Why don't you talk it over with her? Encourage her to be on time.
A: Look! I've talked till I'm blue in the face. It's out of the question.
B: There must be something you can do.
A: I doubt it. Last night we went to a concert. Do you know what time we got there? Just in time to go out for the intermission!
B: I guess you're just wasting your breath then. Time means nothing to Norma.
#readandrecord
#dialogue
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