Which is faster, heat or cold?

Answer: Heat, because you can catch a cold.

@TheComedyCentre

Jail and prison are the same thing but jailer and prisoner are not!

#DidYouKnow

@TheComedyCentre

Boss: You can't be here. You called in yesterday with a case of COVID-19 virus. You can only come back to work when you have been tested.

Me: I called yesterday that I had a case of Corona and I won't be coming to work. I didn't say anything about any virus 🙄

@TheComedyCentre

She is truly an intern 😂

@TheComedyCentre

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

@TheComedyCentre

This generation is stressing God, wahala!

@TheComedyCentre

Can you work here?

For me it's hell to the NO! Imagine say rope just cut, ah!

@TheComedyCentre

If I separate any couples fight again, make I bend. I go gist you later, I dey come.

Make my right eye open first!

@TheComedyCentre

Most useless crocodile of all time.

@TheComedyCentre

When a woman is on her periods and she sit on a table,it becomes periodic table.

@TheComedyCentre

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Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded?

Because people are dying to get in.

@TheComedyCentre

Behind every successful man is a woman.

That is because women don't follow unsuccessful men!

@TheComedyCentre

The pessimist sees the tunnel.

The optimist, a light at the end of the tunnel.

The realist sees a train.

And the train driver sees three idiots on the railway track.

@TheComedyCentre

Askhole (n)

A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.

@TheComedyCentre

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

@TheComedyCentre

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